


Sleepless Night

by Aka_Karasu (Raven052)



Series: Colour Your Heart [5]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Akashi being manipulative, Hotel, Implied Akashi Seijuurou/Kuroko Tetsuya, Kuroko focused, Kuroko in love, M/M, Sharing a Room, Trip - Freeform, heavily implied sexual content, pairings are complicated...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-23
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-12-19 01:31:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11887074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raven052/pseuds/Aka_Karasu
Summary: Spending the night cooped up with the rest of the Miracle Generation? Kuroko knew this night wasn't going to be easy, but did Akashi really have to make it this difficult for him?Kuroko's thoughts and feelings on Akashi's manipulation tactics finally come to light.





	Sleepless Night

**Author's Note:**

> We're slowly getting the full picture of this series now. 
> 
> This is set sometime after Recklessly.

The game had been successful but, everyone agreed, dull.   
They’d travelled a long way for the game and it had been agreed that rather than travelling so late, the team would instead stay in a hotel a little way out. 

Kuroko had been dreading it. He’d looked into the hotel the night before, and it seemed like his worst fear was about to come true.   
They’d all be staying in the one room together that night.   
Kuroko wasn’t sure how he was going to bear it. 

As soon as they got into the large tatami covered room, Murasakibara immediately sat down, leaning back against the wall. “Humm… Seems okay.”   
Midorima stepped in next, sighing heavily. “It’ll do.”   
“Hey. Where am I sleeping? I could use a nap right about now…” Aomine drawled.   
“You’ll be next to me, right Aominechhi?” Kise insisted, leaning into him.   
Kuroko watched Kise with Aomine, and smiled just a little. He saw Aomine draw his arm around Kise’s shoulders and felt warm with relief. It seemed like the tempestuous relationship that was Aomine and Kise’s was currently set to ‘good’. Kuroko knew those two could make a good couple, if only they learnt to listen to each other more.   
Kuroko jolted as he felt someone brush by him. He didn’t even need to look up to know. Only one person sent sparks like that through his skin just by being close.   
“Stop crowding in the doorway.” Akashi said, calmly. “We need to organise and lay out the beds if any of us want sleep tonight.”   
Watching Akashi, Kuroko saw the other boy set his bag down to the side and start directing the others.   
This was why tonight was going to be so hard. Not because Kise and Aomine were in ‘affection’ mode. Not because Murasakibara could easily take up the space of three people. Not because there was a rumour that Midorima had a habit of sleepwalking.   
But because… Akashi was here. And Kuroko knew it would be an entire night of everyone else getting his attention, but not Kuroko. Never Kuroko.   
He often thought… It hurt so much because there had been a time when he’d had Akashi’s attention. When he’d been the only one who had his attention.   
But that was back when Akashi’s eyes had both still been red. When Akashi still saw everyone as a team.   
When he still treated his team mates like people, not pawns.   
And… Before he’d started sleeping with the others. 

Kuroko didn’t know the full extent, but he knew enough. He knew the things that happened after practice. And he knew how much time Akashi had spent at the other boys’ houses.   
Sometimes… Kuroko wished… He wasn’t left out. But he couldn’t say it. He never would. He wasn’t ready to give Akashi what he would want, anyway.   
With Akashi giving orders, the room was set out quickly and the boys settled down. They’d eaten nearby, and taking turns, they went to brush their teeth and wash their faces before bed.   
Everyone was so used to seeing one another undressed, even just from the locker rooms, so no one really minded as they changed for bed.  
But Kuroko was uncomfortable to note that everyone’s gaze went to Akashi as he changed. Akashi himself seemed not to notice but Kuroko caught it all. The way Midorima blushed but openly stared. How Kise looked from the corner of his eyes, looking almost sad, longing. And Aomine looked almost… Irritated by the fact his own gaze flitted to Akashi.   
They all looked, to Kuroko, like hungry wolves. But these wolves wouldn’t work as a pack, only out for themselves and Kuroko wanted to yell at every one of them to stop looking at Akashi like that, that he wasn’t a damn piece of meat.   
But.   
He didn’t. For a lot of reasons, he didn’t.   
Because he knew those looks were something Akashi had carefully cultivated. Even if he wasn’t aware of that staring, he’d made sure they would.   
And because Kise and Aomine wouldn’t do anything, neither wanted to be the one to ruin the good streak they had with each other.   
And…  
Because Kuroko knew he wasn’t innocent either. He’d been staring too. He wanted Akashi too.   
This was what Kuroko had dreaded most of all. And this was why he’d positioned himself as far away from where Akashi planned to sleep as possible. The more distance he could put between them, the better.   
\--  
Kise had wanted to stay up chatting, but Akashi quickly quelled that idea. “We have an early start to get home tomorrow, we don’t want anyone over sleeping.” 

“Awww but we never get to hang out all together like this!” Kise pouted.   
“Shh, Kise… You’re loud.” Aomine was already laying down on his back, eyes closed. He reached out for Kise and pulled him down.   
“Aominecchi!” Kise exclaimed as he practically fell on top of Aomine.   
“Still loud…” Aomine muttered, opening his eyes a little to draw Kise closer and kiss him.   
Kuroko watched them both, still with that contented smile.   
Then he looked over at Akashi, and his heart sunk, smile disappearing again. He realised he was reminded of when Akashi would kiss him, affectionately like that. While at the same time he was also reminded that if Akashi kissed him now, it would be nothing like that at all.   
Akashi put the lights out, and advised everyone to get some sleep already.   
“That means you too, Daiki and Ryota…”   
“Yes Akashicchi…” 

\--  
Kuroko had fallen asleep. He found that sleeping in the bed next to Kise had turned out to be a good idea. Not only had the other boy scooted so close to Aomine that Kuroko felt like he had even more space than he actually did. But also it turned out Kise was a very peaceful sleeper. It seemed he’d curled up next to Aomine and fallen asleep immediately, barely making a sound and barely moving at all.   
So Kuroko couldn’t quite work out at first why he’d woken up. Kise was still as he had been, so the obvious answer that Kise had rolled over and disturbed Kuroko’s sleep clearly wasn’t the case.   
He closed his eyes and tried to fall back asleep.   
But instead, he ended up listening more closely to the darkness. And he soon understood he wasn’t going to be getting any sleep. 

The soft shifting of fabric, a quiet gasping, coupled with panted sounds. 

Kuroko closed his eyes tighter, willing himself to fall asleep again before he could get a fuller picture. 

“Shintaro… Are you holding back?” 

Kuroko felt the tears escape his eyes before he’d realised they’d formed. No… No, they couldn’t… They couldn’t be…   
Akashi… Why?   
Without meaning to, Kuroko opened his eyes again. More accustomed to the darkness now, he could see more.   
Kise’s back, where he was snuggled against Aomine.   
And then, his eyes flickered past them, to the bed next to Aomine’s. Where Midorima had settled for the night.   
He saw Akashi all too easily. Above Midorima, the blankets draped over his back. He was seemingly sitting on Midorima’s lap, moving slowly, rhythmically. Kuroko could even catch a glimpse of Akashi’s open mouth, hear the gasping escaping him.   
Kuroko understood, completely what was happening. 

“Keep your voice down.” Midorima’s voice hissed back. “I don’t want to wake the others…” A yelp of surprise and pleasure followed his words. Whatever Akashi had done, it’d been good, if unexpected. 

“Oh? Shy? Don’t be. Nothing anyone here hasn’t seen or heard before.” Akashi’s voice purred.   
“Except Tetsuya of course…” 

Kuroko felt his blood freeze as he heard his name mentioned.   
Akashi… Why are you…   
Stop being so… Mean…  
Akashi let out an overindulgent moan and he chuckled as Midorima tried to shush him.   
“You should be pleased, Shintaro.” Akashi said. “I’m willing to show off that I enjoy being with you.” 

As much as Kuroko wanted to leave, get out of that place, he couldn’t make himself move. He couldn’t bear to let Akashi know what he’d heard.   
So, he stayed and unwillingly heard all of it.   
He covered his ears as best he could, but even so he couldn’t escape the images already conjured up. 

Finally, the room fell silent again.   
Feeling like he could barely breathe, Kuroko sat up.   
Then he stood, and hurried out of the room.   
He didn’t realise that red and gold eyes watched him go. 

Out in the corridor, and a little way down from their room, Kuroko allowed himself to stop.   
He leant, heavily back against the wall, eyes closed as he tried to breathe normally again, only to find he was still crying.   
He’d already known, of course. He’d already seen Akashi with Kise but this… The whole experience was shattering, and felt like it had hollowed him out. 

Is this revenge, Akashi? Are you punishing me because I didn’t…? Because I wasn’t ready? Because I pushed you away?   
Are you just using them? 

“Ooh. Kuro-chin?”   
Kuroko looked up, in surprise.   
He found that Murasakibara was sitting on the bench just opposite. So wrapped up in his thoughts, he hadn’t even realised anyone else was there.   
“Murasakibara? You… Couldn’t sleep either?”   
When had he left? Did he know what had happened in the room?   
Murasakibara shook his head. “I tried to sleep but I think I ate something that’s keeping me awake.” He sighed. “I guess I gotta wait until I get tired again…”   
Kuroko sat down beside him. “Mind if I wait with you? I’m… Not sure when I’ll be ready to go back to the room though.”   
“That’s okay.”

Kuroko appreciated the quiet. It gave him time to try and clear his head. But somehow, it just wouldn’t clear. 

“Aka-chin doesn’t always look after himself very well, does he?”   
Kuroko looked up at Murasakibara, surprised.   
“He’s always lecturing us about resting and eating well. But he forgets about other things.”   
Kuroko just shrugged, nodding quietly, not quite sure what Murasakibara was getting at. 

“He shouldn’t play around with people like he does. It’s not good for them. Or him.”   
Oh. Of course, Murasakibara would know too.   
Kuroko suddenly felt even lonelier, even more the outsider.   
So it really was just him?   
“We must be lucky, Kuro-chin.” Murasakibara said. “We’re the only ones Aka-chin doesn’t play with.”   
Kuroko looked up, startled. “Y- you too?” He stammered.   
Murasakibara nodded. “I don’t think it seems very interesting… And it seems like too much effort. I don’t understand why they all like it so much.” 

Kuroko couldn’t help it.   
He felt so… Relieved.   
He wasn’t… The only one left out, after all?   
And yet.   
It felt like with Murasakibara, it was his choice. Kuroko hadn’t been given a choice. Not really.  
“Yeah.” Kuroko said, quietly. 

Beside him, Murasakibara yawned. “I think I’m finally sleepy… Night, Kuro-chin. Don’t stay up too late!” 

Kuroko waved goodnight, but continued sitting. Thinking, contemplating.   
If he had been given a choice… What would it have been? Would he really want to share Akashi the way everyone seemed to agree to? 

He must’ve fallen asleep sitting up, because when he woke up, Akashi was hovering over him.   
“Is… It time to go?” Kuroko asked.   
Akashi shook his head. “It’s still early yet… Come back to the room, Kuroko. It won’t be good for you, sleeping there like that.” 

Reluctantly, Kuroko got to his feet, and followed after Akashi. 

Words spun around and around in his head as he stared at Akashi’s back. Words he wouldn’t say out loud, but he wished Akashi would know them anyway.   
I want to try again.   
I want to be with you.   
But I will not share you.   
Akashi…  
I love you.   
Despite everything.   
I still. Do.

**Author's Note:**

> Can I also just mention how happy I was to finally write Murasakibara? He hasn't really had a chance to show up so far but I've been anxious to write him! 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed, thank you for reading!


End file.
